A Quandry Suddenly Resolved

It was between 6 and 7 p.m. yesterday (Monday) afternoon, and we were in a quandry. Beginning Sunday night the news about Abbie's dad was not good. He seemed to come through the surgery fairly well (see previous post) but then complications set in: he was retaining fluids and couldn't swallow. I sent a note to the Consul-General to say that a family emergency appeared imminent, and we might have take off for the States at any time.

The quandry reached its peak Monday afternoon, our time. Dad was worse; the medical staff were asking if the family wanted them to take "extraordinary measures" to keep him alive. Abbie needed to go...immediately! (Do I go with her? Wait a few days and go?) Flight connections? Yes, but the only way to get to Arkansas by Tuesday evening meant leaving here at before 6 a.m., and the only available transatlantic seats were in business class: round trip per person = $3150!  Now what?

We were still wrestling with the cost/schedule issue and we got word that Dad had had an "AVC or heart attack" 30 minutes earlier. Would he still be alive when Abbie/we got there? Would he even be able to acknowledge our presence if he was? We called Joy, for her to call Abbie's brother and get the latest report. We had to make a decision in the next few minutes and let the travel agent know.

When Joy called back, our quandry had been resolved. She told her uncle we needed to know whether it was "worth it" to scramble to get on the plane in a few hours, and he said he could answer that very easily: Dad had passed away just 5 minutes earlier.

A TRIP

All the travel options have changed. Routing, lay-overs, departure days and times...we'll get there when we get there, and have a couple of days to get some arrangements made here before we go. I wrote the CG last night and explained we would be gone for about a month starting ... well, Thursday or Friday. The agent will be getting back to us today with new flight options. There's a lot we still don't know about our plans over the next month or so, but we know Dad's uncertainties have been mercifully resolved...forever. We'll have to get out to Colorado to see my mother, who's in a care center for therapy after her fall last week (see previous post). I spoke with her last night and she's in (con)fine(d) spirits, one might say. She's alert and doing exercises that would tire out a 65-yr old body (I have one of those; I know what I'm talking about), and chomping at the bit to get back in her own house.

A TESTIMONY

For the rest of this post, you can continue reading here, or click on this link and this one to read Joy's blog about Grandpa. Since I couldn't have said it better myself, I won't even try.

Aug. 19 -- Grandparents.


Last week was an emotional roller coaster.

On Monday, we heard that my grandma (my dad’s mom) fell and fractured her pelvis. No need for surgery, fortunately, but as the week went by it was determined that she should go into a nursing home for a week or two for therapy. She was transferred from the hospital to the nursing home - which we are all supposed to refer as a therapy center - on Friday, her 96th birthday. She’s not happy about it at all. Her stubbornness and temperament about the whole thing seems to mean that she’s making good progress in therapy. She will not stay there longer than she needs to, if it’s up to her….

In the midst of all of that, on Wednesday night my grandpa (my mom’s dad) fell and broke his hip. (Can you believe it? I only have two grandparents left and this happens days apart. What are the odds? Well, I guess fairly good when they’re both in the 90s). He lives in a nursing home and hasn’t walked in a year but got out of bed and forgot he couldn’t walk. Thursday was a hard day in the hospital for him - very confused about everything - and then Friday morning he went into surgery. We decided to take the day and go see him. I was worried about how the kids would react to seeing somebody in the hospital but they did pretty well. Finn was a little more sensitive and didn’t enjoy hearing grandpa coughing (I think his throat was irritated from the surgery), but Mia kept wanting to go back to the room and see him. She’s asked several times since then when we can go see him in the hospital. (If I could guess right now what she will do when she’s older I would say something in a medical field: very nurturing, very sensitive to people in pain, loves band-aids, and her favorite pretend play is to have you act sick while she takes care of you). Grandpa was asleep most of the day but right after dinner we went back to see him and he was awake. We got to talk to him a little and he smiled and talked to the kids. It was sweet, even though it was so brief. Today, I found out that he’s not doing very well. Got a fever this morning and had to have a feeding tube put in because he can’t swallow. He’ll be 94 in 3 weeks and suffers from dementia/Alzheimer’s so all this is very rough on him.

So yeah, not a super fun week. Taking one day at a time. Appreciate your thoughts and prayers for our family, especially my parents who live so far away. Hearing news and not being able to do much because of the distance and making decisions on whether or not to travel is hard…

Aug 20 -- Grandpa.

My grandfather passed away this afternoon. After a few years of confusion, a year of not being able to take care of himself, and a few days struggling to recover from hip surgery, he’s finally whole and well.

It’s hard. Of course, it’s hard. It’s hard to lose somebody dear. Hard to see and hear loved ones around me grieve. Hard to know that we won’t hear his voice again or watch him as he interacted with the kids with such joy and pleasure at having little ones around.

But, I’m thankful. Thankful that he’s no longer confused. Thankful that he isn’t suffering. Thankful that I do have those memories of seeing his face light up when he saw us, and then later my kids. Thankful for the way he supported and loved his family. Thankful that he and my grandma were there for me as a scared little freshman, driving me to college and dropping me off when my parents weren’t able. Thankful that he no longer misses my Grandma.

Really thankful that we took the time to go on Friday to see him. We thought about either going that day or Sunday and decided to just go ahead and go. He was awake briefly when we went in to say goodbye and he registered who we were and talked to the kids, calling Mia a “little lady” and telling her he would “take her out on the town later.” Those were the last words I heard. He had trouble staying awake after that and by Sunday started having other complications. Yes, thankful that we took the time and went Friday.

So, my heart is sad. But my heart is also full.

Happy Birthday, Mom

Today's the day...#96 for Mom. We were there last year for her 95th, but too much going on to get away again at this time of year.

The party (my brother and sisters and a number of their families are there) won't be quite what Mom was hoping for. She fell last Monday morning while fixing her breakfast.  With help, she was able to get up and walk, but later there was swelling in her hip and pain in her leg. After a series of tests it was determined that there is no need for an operation, but she does have a couple of fractures of the pelvis. She is being transferred today (her birthday) to a nursing home where she can have proper therapy...7-10 days, says the doctor. Then she can go home. She's probably already ready to head home.

When my sister-in-law decided to call 911 on Monday because she saw the swollen hip and didn't want to aggravate any injury, in a few minutes there was a sheriff's deputy, the fire department with a ladder truck, and the ambulance crew all on the scene. I told Mom I knew why the sheriff was there: he had to hold his gun on her to make her get in the ambulance.

The story doesn't end there, however. Sometime Wednesday night or the early hours of Thursday morning, Abbie's dad, who has been in nursing home for months, and confined to a wheelchair because of a fall almost a year ago, got up to go to the bathroom, fell, and broke his hip. He's being operated on today to put in a pin. No details about the nature and location of the fracture. We were told he is "confused", also a problem he has had for years, but the move from the nursing home to the hospital must make it worse. His 94th birthday is September 13.

2 out of 2. How's that for a week?