The Further Culinary Adventures of One Who Should Know Better

Home, Home on the range

Last week I got an e-mail from Abbie's brother entitled "Ziploc Omelets". I won't bother to upload the photos, but here's the text:

This works great!!! Good for when you're alone or when all your family is together. The best feature is that no one has to wait for their special omelet. Have the guests write their name on a Quart Size Ziploc Freezer Bag with a permanent marker.

1. Crack 2 eggs into the quart size Ziploc bag (not more than 2) shake to combine them.

2. Put out a variety of ingredients such as: Cheeses, Ham, Onions, Green Peppers, Tomatoes, Hash Browns, Salsa, Etc.

3. Each guest adds prepared ingredients of choice to their bag and shake the bag to mix them well.

4. Make sure to get the air out of the bag and zip it up.

5. Place the bags into rolling, boiling water for exactly 13 minutes. You can usually cook 6-8 omelets in a large pot. If you have more omelets, make another pot of boiling water.

6. Cut the bags and the omelet will roll out easily. Be pre pared for everyone to be amazed.
7. Nice to serve with fresh fruit and coffee cake; everyone gets involved in the process and it becomes a great conversation piece.
Imagine having these ready the night before, and putting the bag in boiling water while you get ready. And in just 13 minutes you have a nice omelet for a quick breakfast.

"Good for when you're alone..." says the recipe. I'm alone. Have been for over 3 weeks. Tonight will be a good night to try this fool-proof recipe. How can I miss? Any fool can do this, I concluded. The real trick would be finding a 13-minute egg timer, ("exactly 13 minutes"!) but I decided I could set the alarm on my cell phone and clear that hurdle.

I found a Ziplock bag (1 qt....that's what the recipe says), but I cheated. I put the ingredients in the bag first. There were frozen diced green and red sweet peppers, so I put them in the bag, and I had some bacon that I cooked in the microwave and put in the bag. The water was now boiling merrily on the stove awaiting my Ziploc omelet mixture. Cracked the first egg and right into the bag it went. Cracked the second egg and .... and... wouldn't you know it? The top of the bag closed at the crucial moment! I had suddenly lost the knack of keeping the bag open with one hand while cracking the egg. Too late. The egg white came gushing out onto the outside of the bag.

Quicker than I could say, "Wow, look how fast egg white slides down the outside of a 1-quart Ziploc bag!", it was already racing towards the edge of the cabinet and even more quickly speeding down the cabinet doors to the floor. For the briefest of moments I pondered the possibility of grabbing the Ziploc bag and trying to catch the Formula 1 egg white before it reached the finish line. Alas, egg white runs just as quickly down cabinet doors as it does Ziploc bags, and I knew how useless it would be to try to herd it back into the bag once it lay in a puddle on the floor. I resigned myself to having a 1.5-egg omelet. The yolk was still in the egg shell, so it went in the bag.

The rest of the operation went more or less according to plan. Exactly 13 minutes later, I took the bag out of the water and yes, it was a very nice 2-yolk, 1-egg white omelet. Now that I have experimented the recipe, I believe I have the right to comment on it:

1) Next time, I'll crack the eggs into a bowl, then pour them into the bag.
2) 1-qt. Ziploc bag? I don't see why one-pint bags wouldn't work. I'm not using ostrich eggs.
3) 13 minutes? Just for one omelet, I don't see the advantage. Of course, if you're making a lot of omelets, there would be a saving of time.

But in the end, 13 minutes is just about the time it takes to clean up the egg white off the counter top and the front of the cabinets, and chase it around the kitchen. The time was not wasted.

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone." (Gen. 2:18)

"Amen," said the man.